stand by

i am sooooo fucked.
hard to recognize myself after 4 days of fuckin' our brains out.
I don't understand how people dealt with pshychological terror during the communist regime, and now we are not able to deal with the bad-luck and bad-will and stuff like that. Last night, after we canceled the show, i was like getting so drunk and even now my whining ego says that it's so much easier to junk yourself out, but you know, with fury and despise, you know the feeling, russian-like despair... such a cute little way of being your own perfect outraged victim. but i can't believe in it.
anyway, to junk yourself out is always a solution but not to defy the destiny, fuck it, the world we live in is so mixed up that strong emotions like that can't last more than a few hours for real- and after that it's just social disguise.
i want to write the perfect fairy tale for a city like this one and play it with puppets.
this is the next project.
urban superheroes and urban fairytale, urban and more.
have to find... i forgot what.
the music of felix kubin is very good for the starting point of this story.
and i talked to kostea about internet theatre upgrading.
writing different versions for a play, and upgrades and giving free license for everybody.
fuck the copyright and fuck the license. mironghiu said it so nice, that internet is the new communism of information. http://miron-ghiu.blogspot.com/
well, then no property. only intellectual moral property.
what i don't understand is what the fuck will happen with monged? It seems like a nightmare, first we could't have the proper preview because the teachers could't come, anf after the holidays, we couldn't even rehearse properly because the heating system broke down at the casandra studio.
and now we have to wait another week.
crazeeee.
demented.
wickeeed.
and rock'n'roll.