fuck this city

... and back from the USA. I'm dizzy. Sincerely, I'm fucked up. I miss walking on that streets and the spirit of the city, and the way people are there. There's so much to say about that, that I can't really describe the poor provincial fucked up spirit in this messy grey dusty and so pathetic Bucharest, in which everybody is afriad of something or somebody, and everybody is in a continuous conflict with the others, no, not conflict, but COMPETITION, oh yeah, you fuck me or I fuck you, and I don't mean fuckin' as in an act of attraction. FUck, I'm so tired of all this mess that I simply try to act like I'm in a holiday here or smth like that, like this is a bridge, this Bucharest thing is a bridge between London&USA experience and something else. It's not for real. The old workers from the thatre are not for real. My professors are not for real. Only the joy from the rehearsals is for real, and that's the only thing that keeps me connected. But what else? Nothing.
So I watch movies, drink, and think about the show. Today, they told me that it's a must that the show is ready by 16th of december. No questions, just like that- yoube ready. I don't see no fuckin interest in these people for what we do, and they call themselves teachers. Fuck that. The mood, the vibe in Casandra, the studio I'm rehearsing at, is killing. lethal weapon. Everybody waiting, linegring around, hanging, crossing by, yawning, lying on the floor, talking at th phone... Fuck, man. makes you feel laike a freek when you want to rehearse something. I'm not talking about the actors, buut there are so many people who happen to linger around, that they drag you down big time. today, because we didn't have any music also, I sometimes felt just like in a kind of hallway, you know? A fuckin' hallway between buildings.
Anyway...
AND I try to get myself dunk so I go to sleep earlier.
So goodnight to everybody, this is the sincere poison from a full-of-poison society that I respectfully advice you to avoid, sincerely yours,
vera
aka
a former ceburashka in the london fields of real interesting creative and never exhausting real life.
and just trying to get herself THROUGH this hell of neverending tension and frustration that floats upon Bucharest.